So, Nicolas Lewis and I stumbled across the final Amway Coaches Poll rankings, and it just so happens to be sortable - meaning that you can see what ranking each coach gave to each team that finished ranked.
More importantly, you can see the final ballot for each team that participated. It just so happens that six Mountain West Conference coaches participated, and we couldn't help but check out their ballots. HOLY CRAP, PEOPLE. We have done our best to reconstruct what probably happened when the final ballots were put together, using insider information gathered from... well, fiction.
Somewhere near Colorado Springs, underneath Pikes Peak Mountain, lies the secret coaches headquarters of the Mountain West Conference.
Rocky Long: You know, Boise wasn't that impressive. We had a 20-0 lead over them. Hell, if we could keep any sort of lead, I wouldn't rank them at all. Boise to No. 22, just for kicks and giggles.
*slaps a ballot to the bulletin board and pins it*
Troy Calhoun: Oh, come on. You've got to have at least a little fun with this. I mean heck, what's the point of getting a ballot if you can't toot your own horn with it?
*slaps up his ballot with Boise at No. 21 and Air Force at No. 22*
Tim DeRuyter: Why not move them up further? Two losses times 10 points for each win over us...
*slaps up his ballot with Boise at No. 20*
Norm Chow: Lessee here...16 down: What a popular show was in the 80s with blue characters. WHAT THE HELL? ONLY 9 LETTERS? IT'S BOISE STATE! This crossword puzzle is ridiculous
*slaps up his ballot with BOISE ST. (space and period included to fit box) No. 16 and Colorado State No. 24*
*Bobby Hauck says nothing. He gets up, pins his ballot to the board showing the same rankings for Boise and Colorado State as Chow, and leaves the room.*
*As Hauck is doing this, a slow, maniacal chuckle begins to creep out form the corner of the room. Everyone turns to see Craig Bohl looking sinister and self-satisfied*
Chow: Craig, what the hell is wrong with you?
Calhoun: Yeah, seriously Craig, you're the new guy, just shut up and do like the rest of us.
DeRuyter: And why the hell are you holding that microphone?
*Bohl gets up, mic in one hand and ballot in the other. He walks to the front and addresses everyone with the mic right at his mouth.*
Bohl: LISTEN, DOUCHEBAGS. I DIDN'T WIN ALL THOSE GAMES IN NORTH GODDAMN DAKOTA STATE BY BEING SORRY WEAK-ASSES LIKE THE REST OF YOU. TAKE SOME CHANCES. BOISE AT NUMBER TEN.