Welcome to the inaugural post in our new Saturday feature. This will be more of a fun or humorous type of post, more in line with classic SBNation pieces. If you’ve ever wondered what your favorite MWC team would be if it was a candy bar or Harry Potter character, this feature is for you. If you enjoy satire and fake letters from coaches or commissioner, this feature is for you. If you want to see team rankings based on mascots, this feature is for you.

Today, in continuing with Kickoff Week we look at another all Mountain West team. This one looks at the players with the best names at every position. What constitutes the best name? See for yourself.

2019 All-name team

(all names taken directly from rosters on team sites)

Offense

Quarterback

• QB Chance Lachapelle (SJSU)

Running Back

• RB Russell Booze (Nevada)
• RB Xazavian Valladay (Wyoming)

Wide Receiver

• WR Oakley Hussey (Utah State)
• WR Brendan O’leary-Orange (Nevada)
• WR Devin Heckstall (Utah State)

Tight End

• TE Griffin Hammer (Colorado State)

Offensive Line

• OL Wolfgang Rehbock (Air Force)
• OL Jack Lookabaugh (Wyoming)
• OL Kekaniokoa Holomalia-Gonzales (Boise State)
• OL Blake Householder (Colorado State)
• OL Marc David Bien-Aime (Fresno State)

Defense

Defensive Line

• DL Abebayo Soremekun (New Mexico)
• DL Blessman Ta’ala (Hawaii)
• DL Manly Williams (Hawaii)
• DL Livingston Paogofie (Colorado State)

Linebacker

• LB Seyddrick Lakalaka (SDSU)
• LB Kilifi Leaaetoa (Fresno State)
• LB Keyon Blankenbaker (Wyoming)

Defensive Back

• DB Milton Bugg III (Air Force)
• DB Khafari Buffalo (Boise State)
• DB Dwayne Johnson Jr (SDSU)
• DB Cash Gilliam (Utah State)

Special Teams

• K/P Ryan Stonehouse (Colorado State)
• LS Huck Vollmar (Colorado State)

Team Totals:

• Colorado State 5
• Wyoming 3
• Utah State 3
• Nevada 2
• Hawaii 2
• Fresno State 2
• SDSU 2
• Boise State 2
• Air Force 2
• SJSU: 1
• New Mexico: 1

Notes:

• Running back, Defensive Line, Linebacker, and Defensive backs were the most stacked positions, as quite a few fun names were identified as those spots.
• Former Air Force DB Weston Steelhammer gets emeritus status on this list from now until the end of time.