Welcome to a Thanksgiving-themed post. Couldn’t decide between comparing teams to food or types of relatives so went for both and though not all are perfect fits, it still makes for a fun read. Enjoy and be sure to continue the conversation in the comments.
This is your grandma. Every year she wears the same clothes, the same apron (probably one with a turkey on it) while in the kitchen, and says the same thing when the parade floats go by on TV. It’s familiar and predictable but you look forward to it every year. It’s the tradition that reminds you of when you were a kid.
Food: Pumpkin Pie
The Broncos are the cousin who is finishing up their semester of their second or third year or college, and it shows. They know everything now, or they portray that they do. And they make sure everyone knows it. They inject their thoughts into every conversation, to remind people how educated they now are and how up to date they’ve become on the latest big topics in the world.
This is your brother or sister in-law that you don’t see very often. You reconnect at the start of the day and everything is going great. You are thinking to yourself, why don’t we talk more? However, with each drink, they get more annoying as they slur their words and repeat the same stories. By the end of dinner, you remember why you don’t talk much the rest of the year.
Food: Turkey (light meat and dark meat)
The Bulldogs are the youngest adult sibling in the family. Maybe it’s you, one of your siblings, or an aunt/uncle. For years they make the gravy and everyone loves it. But this year they got a bit carried away and demanded they would cook and carve the turkey. Spoiler: it didn’t go too well. Next year they’ll make the gravy again and everyone will be happy.
Hawaii is the family member no one has seen or talked to the past few months because they’ve been off “finding themselves” as of late. They come in and are friendly enough, but are only talking about themselves and aren’t asking you any questions. They used to put all the carbs and comfort food on their plate, but loudly declare they are doing a new trendy diet and complain no one accommodated for their new lifestyle.
The Wolf Pack are the younger couple with the newborn baby. They were fun and still are, but now everything they do is a big production. Coming, leaving, eating, going to the bathroom, now they talk their way through it and everyone in the house knows their movements now. It’s a big adjustment but it somehow works out.
Food: Yams (but a new recipe)
The Lobos are your awkward cousin that keeps trying to talk to you when you are clearly not interested. You cringe as they saw offensive and embarrassing things non-stop. It’s uncomfortable to talk to them and even more uncomfortable when you see no one is talking to them.
San Diego State
The Aztecs are you grandpa. He’s great, steals the show every time he’s in the room with his jokes and stories. He makes sure everyone is having a good time and you and others enjoy spending time with him. The problem is he’s a one-trick pony; he does all the hosting and none of the work to prepare of clean up the meal.
Food: Mashed Potatoes
San Jose State
For years, little SJSU was your younger cousin that you were so used to beating in the backyard turkey bowl game for years. This year however, he entered high school, grew 6 inches and got much more athletic. You still beat him this year, but he’s on the rise and you have your eye on him.
Food: Corn Casserole
That one aunt. You don’t talk to them and they don’t talk to you. It’s not that you don’t like one another, you just don’t have anything to say. You probably don’t make eye contact may even forget each other are there. This cycle repeats every single year.
Food: Cranberry Sause
Is the new boyfriend/girlfriend who is coming to Thanksgiving for the first time. They are fun and interesting, but they don’t know how anything works so are prone to some naive comments or awkward moments. You find yourself both enjoying them and also wishing they weren’t there so things could be like they were before.
Food: Dinner Rolls
The Cowboys are your uncle who goes through the same routine every year. No matter what. Comes in right when football starts, sits in the same spot on the couch. During commercials, he will ask you the same questions about school/work/whatever. He’s sincere but repetitive. He will make the same joke every year about making a family of 25 go around and say what they’re thankful for before eating, all while being first in line himself. Then he will be distraught trying to decide between seconds and dessert.