Welcome to The Preview of Hate, a wildly popular preview column following the Colorado State Rams athletic program. Each week, we’ll dive into "Tiers" of things I hate about the upcoming matchup. Whether that be the opposing team’s uniforms, city, campus, or even the actual game. This week, we look at the upcoming bowl game matchup with the Idaho Vandals.
This is the final football PoH for 2016. I will say I think the PoH has been a success. It’ll be back for the 2017 season, though likely updated with new format and a larger research facility to find more things to make fun of your sorry programs and towns for. I can’t rely on the Boulder’s phony liberalism and wack party culture forever! Thank you for reading, I hope we can make the Preview of Hate even better for generations to come. I plan on doing this for 60 years.
With that, let’s begin.
The Rams have already improved their win total from last season by one (1) game as they enter a very winnable contest with the Vandals. The Rams offense has looked unstoppable the last few weeks including putting up 63 points on apparently “vaunted” defense San Diego State. Everyone can make all the excuses they want but the Rams looked absolutely unstoppable against a defense commenters would often brag to me about. Apparently SDSU was supposed to “dominate” the Rams because they were a “real defense” unlike teams like Fresno and UNLV. Fresno and UNLV actually did better against the Rams offense but I’ll just be Kermit sipping tea over here about this.
Going forward into 2017, the Rams have clearly set themselves up to be one of the better teams in the conference. Nick Stevens will be back, the skill players will be back, the defense is losing all-world linebacker Kevin Davis but keeping the majority of core starters and the biggest graduating loss is likely punter Hayden Hunt.
So long as the offense doesn’t suffer a sputtering start like this year and the defense can gel quickly, the Rams are poised to make noise. A non-conference schedule with a trip to Alabama being it’s only guaranteed loss and with home games against Boise and Air Force, the Rams schedule is shaping up to be winnable and a fifth straight bowl game should be the baseline of achievement. It’s no longer a tweener year, this is a contender year and combined with the opening of a new stadium, 2017 should be insanely fun to be a CSU fan. Or it’ll be a disaster and we will break out the sadness pillows again, who knows! That’s sports baby! Fleeting success in between long periods of sadness!
Anyway, into the Tiers of Hate for Thursday’s bowl game.
The Blue Field.
I wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t open the Tiers with the garbage of Boise, the blue field of Albertson’s Stadium.
Oh look, I get it, it’s “marketing”, it’s a “cute gimmick”, it’s “unique”. Yadda yadda yadda. Spare me the excuses, it sucks and nobody outside of your minor metro area likes it. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news here, but people hate the blue field.
My favorite defense of the blue field is the counter that CSU has green colors and plays on a green field. Uh, ok, yeah sorry for playing on the natural color of grass? Idiots.
It’s not that your jerseys match the color, I don’t care, it’s that your stupid field is STUPID. It’s a freakin’ two bit gimmick that was fun for like eight minutes. I hope Boise does get taken by a P5 because your trash field belongs somewhere where I never have to watch it.
Get bent, Blue Field. I can’t wait until next year when I never have to see it.
This bowl game is a perfect storm of crap.
Look, I get that Idaho is bowl eligible so you have to put them somewhere. I get that putting them in their home state is a good way to sell tickets to a game that otherwise might not be very full.
But ugh, I have zero excitement for this football game.
This might be part of it:
We’re going to bowl games to escape the cold, not walk into more of it, man.
You could say there’s only so many warm weather venues and that’s fair. You could also say 7-5 doesn’t deserve a warm weather bowl. To that I say, shut up idiot. 29 degrees is never going to get people to go to a exhibition game for a trophy full of potatoes. Never.
Not to mention, the opponent is boring.
The University of Idaho football team is about to become the first football program to voluntarily drop from FBS to FCS play. They want to go down a level, they would rather compete there. This isn’t an attack on FCS football which in many ways is good and fun football, but rather a strange glance at a team going 8-4 in FBS play deciding they want to play at a level lower. I guess winning a FCS National Title is infinitely better for marketing than going to the Potato Bowl, this is fair, but it still seems odd.
After last year’s debacle of playing Nevada in a bowl that you could only watch if you went to a website nobody had ever heard of, this is a step up, but barely. It hurts CSU that they get horrible travel support and the last two bowl selections have proven that. I’m all for celebrating bowl appearances, but this crappy bowl stuff is wearing on me.
Travel is obviously very down for this game. I’m all for criticizing CSU’s poor travel but this bowl game was never going to get people.
1.) It’s in Boise.
2.) It’s against Idaho
3.) For some reason it’s expensive to fly there
4.) Bowl games should not be in cold weather venues
The Rams are 13 point favorites in this game, one of the larger bowl spreads of the cycle. Vegas doesn’t expect this to be a particularly good game, but I’m not going to put myself on some kind of ledge and say the Rams will definitely dominate this game, that would be crazy! If I wanted to get made fun of I would absolutely say the Rams will easily cover this spread and frankly it’s embarrassing that it’s only 13 points! I would brag about CSU’s offense being able to easily put up 45+ on Idaho’s defense. If I was crazy, I would do that.
Luckily, I’m not crazy. Otherwise this could be bad.
Moscow, Idaho and U of I.
The city of Moscow is another city I’ve never been to. Mostly because, until 25 minutes ago, I had no idea the University of Idaho was located in Moscow, Idaho. Wild!
Moscow is a city that is only 6 square miles long and has a population of 25,000 people. 25,000! That’s so insanely small. This will be the smallest town the Rams have faced this year, even smaller than Laramie, Wyoming which is an accomplishment since Laramie has been voted “Worst Place to Move” for the 123rd time in a row this year.
What’s crazy is Moscow looks beautiful, absolutely picturesque. Why is it so small? Why is no one living in Idaho? Can I get an investigative journalist on this case? Does it smell bad? Is everyone there extremely rude? These beautiful fields require more people to ruin them.
The University of Idaho is best known for being ranked 90th by a Best Public Universities poll! Congrats to all who worked hard to achieve a top 90 finish!
Researchers at U of I also helped clone the first horse, helping begin the horse army’s eventual takeover of the human race. Thanks a lot, Idaho! You doomed us all!
That’s all I learned about Idaho today, frankly it’s too much.
The Hayden Hunt goodbye.
Throughout my time this year, I’ve always asked people to respect one of the best punters. Hayden’s a two time Ray Guy semifinalist, he’s averaging over 40 yards a punt, and we’re going to miss him!
Punters are more important than you’d realize. Especially when an offense is sputtering or fails to execute early. The difference between a bad punter and a good punter isn’t noticed until the bad punter practically costs you 14 points with terrible punts.
Hunt’s punting has helped the Rams immeasurably with his reliability, we know what we’re getting out of Hayden and good punters are tougher to find than good kickers.
I’m just saying, punters are people too man. I will miss the punts of Hayden.
★ ★ ★
Anyway, Rams by 21. 45-24. 8 win season rolling into 10 next year. Let’s go!!!