THE PREVIEW OF HATE, WEEK TEN: THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN

Welcome to The Preview of Hate, a wildly popular preview column following the Colorado State Rams athletic program. Each week, we’ll dive into “Tiers” of things I hate about the upcoming matchup. Whether that be the opposing teams uniforms, city, campus, or even the actual game. This week, we look at the upcoming matchup with the Fresno State Bulldogs!

Before we begin, let’s discuss what happened two weeks ago in Las Vegas.

The Rams offense is fixed, folks. This thing is officially a machine. Let’s get this party popping, you guys. Nick Stevens and the Rams are coming to your town and you might as well start prepping the scoreboard now.

Five first half touchdowns paved the way, Stevens was 21-28 for 237 yards and two touchdowns, the running offense was diverse and dominant. It was 35-0 at halftime.

Whatever we’ve thought about this Rams team, they’re young and frustrating and that loss to CU still stings, I don’t care anymore. This team’s going to its fourth straight bowl game, baby.

Furthermore, let’s look at the losses this team has taken this year.

1. Colorado. The number 15 team in the country that has emerged as a legitimate Pac-12 title contender.
2. Minnesota, on the road. A team still in the hunt in the Big Ten West potentially looking at a ten win season in a strong P5 conference.
3. Wyoming. They just beat Boise State and are possibly going to win the Mountain West.
4. Boise State, on the road. The blue turf bandits snuck away with one last month, they are good and ranked in the playoff rankings.

I’m not one for “quality losses”, a good team would’ve won those games and CSU didn’t. But let’s not pretend like it’s bad to lose to good teams. In a tweener year, with eight new starters on defense, quarterback drama, and brand new wide receivers, Colorado State has shown a lot more than you’d think they would’ve shown.

With only a few impact seniors graduating, this team can easily slide into next year as a Very Good Team (TM) when opening the new stadium.

But, before we get excited for next year like a bunch of LSU fans, let’s worry about Fresno and hop into the tiers.

Fresno State is bad.

I know, that sounds crazy to hate the fact that the Rams are walking into a game against a 1-8 opponent that just fired their head coach. But I really don’t like it when a team has nothing to lose.

Fresno State is last in scoring offense, tenth in scoring defense, and last in rushing defense. They’re the best pass defense in the conference but that might be slightly skewed by the fact they allow so many yards on the ground teams figure passing would just be cruel.

Fresno State is extremely bad at pretty much everything, which is why I’m worried about them.

Even Extremely Bad teams can sometimes win a game, the Colorado State teams of Steve Fairchild were some of the worst football teams I’ve ever seen and they won games. Sometimes they even won important games.

Fresno State has nothing to lose in this game, which is why I am worried that they won’t.

Tier Two

Fresno gangs.

I’ve never been to Fresno, California. It’s another city that I’ve never stepped foot in. Frankly, if everything goes according to plan, I’ll never be stepping foot in Fresno.

But I have seen a Gangland on Fresno and in that Gangland I remember one thing. This guy:

Now, I’ve never been in a gang and considering I look like police I will probably never be invited to a gang. But is this something you’re allowed to wear as a member of a gang? Is this man high ranking or something? I’m fuzzy on what rank gets weird hat and shirt two sizes too big added to the wardrobe?

There is just a lot going on and if I was involved in criminal dealings I wouldn’t want to wear clothing that literally only I would wear. If this guy commits any crime at all the APB just has to read “yeah the guy in town who wears that stupid hat” and he’s pinched. He’s locked up. It’s like robbing a bank in a shirt that has your name on it. I’m baffled.

Tier Three

Fresno State University’s off campus life.

Again, I’ve never been to Fresno, I’ve never been to Fresno State! But I do read articles online and recently I found out Fresno is the 30th ranked party school in California. Behind Occidental, Whittier, and HOLY NAMES.

If you can’t party harder than a school called Holy Names you’ve got to reevaluate the party situation in your university.

Fresno is the 5th largest city in California, so where is everyone partying? I mean, I get that Fresno has a gang problem but so does USC and these kids are raging harder than anyone!

How is a school in a large city so bad at partying that schools like Holy Names blow it out of the water?

How is a student at Holy Names texting their buddy at Fresno like “hey man you gotta get up here it’s crazy here at Holy Names. Way crazier than your state college located in Fresno. Our school has Holy in it’s name.”

I don’t know, seems ridiculous to me.

I looked up Holy Names to see what the deal was and they’re located in the Bay Area, but STILL, man. STILL.

I’m not going to let Holy Names disrespect me like that, shame that Fresno does.

Tier Four

The Hughes Farewell.

We have two games left in the old rickety cement complex known as Hughes Stadium. Fresno and New Mexico come to town and you guys, I’m starting to realize future Rams won’t know the joy and beauty of Hughes.

From the dirt parking lot that reminds you of literally being a pioneer to the weird greek life tailgates to people totally not sneaking in liquor in water bottles tucked inside their waistband. New Rams won’t be able to experience the dirt, the disappointment, the leaving at halftime because your driver wants to start drinking at home, ah, Hughes baby.

As much as Hughes brings down the overall culture of the sport in Fort Collins, leaving it in a weird 1978 wonderland when college football wasn’t a money driven cash grab, I still loved the weird terribleness of Hughes. I loved that you had to convince your friends to go because they just wanted to drink, I loved that the parking lot was complete and total anarchy, I especially loved that it was impossible to be comfortable no matter the weather.

Hughes was a weird, terrible, dying stadium and I will miss its crusty ass when it’s gone.

Rams by 30.

See ya next week.