clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Help save Hawaii football from going under

New, 10 comments

Hawaii football must not be dropped, so we the fans are taking it into our hands to make sure the Warriors football program lives on.

Marco Garcia-USA TODAY Sports

Monday afternoon, Hawaii athletic director Ben Jay dropped the bombshell: "there's a very real possibility of football going away."

This MUST NOT HAPPEN!

What's the most American way ever to raise funds, in order to make sure the Hawaii football program does not go away? If this guy can raise $55,000 for potato salad, it should be a breeze to raise enough funds to make sure the Hawaii football program operates in the black.

Since most people like to get something in return for spending money for a cause -- well, unless you are good-doer and all -- we will provide our backers with one-of-a-kind Hawaii football-themed items for donating money to save the Warriors football program.

Now onto what the backers will get for helping keep Hawaii football around forever.

• $1 We run your name through our top-secret Hawaii name generator. This is too fun not to share.

• $5 will not only get you this soap from Hawaii, but this donation will help keep the locker room stocked with soap.

Soap_medium

• $6.45 Signed replica cast from when Joey Iosefa broke his foot (signature is a stamp).

• $15 Get this YouTube link of how to do the Haka:

• $16 Have a Hawaii offensive lineman of your choice teach you the Haka (flight to Hawaii not included).

• $20 Personal golf lessons from running back Joey Iosefa. Results may vary:

• $55 Get this, yes, this exact Rainbow-themed Hawaii football jersey.

Usatsi_7591597_medium

(Photo via USA TODAY SPORTS - Marco Garcia)

• $74.99 Get a Hawaii Rainbow Warriors-themed jersey that comes in the size you'd like, and no sweat.

• $500 Jeremy and Chris dress up and record a video of the Haka (PLEASE NO, PLEASE NO, PLEASE NO)

* $100,000 Can earn you a shot at the starting quarterback job. If more than one donate this amount there is a full on quarterback competition.

• Norm Chows' buyout (approximately $3 million) Pool your funds together folks.

• $100 million Hire Nick Saban for four years.

It is now up to you to try to save Hawaii football, so pull out the pocket book to make your purchase to save this storied football program which include the fond memories of #WACtion, late-night football and the complete homers who call the game on television wearing the most ridiculous looking Hawaiian shirts. We also take Bitcoin, PayPal and Google Wallet.

Send in your donations now. (Sarcasm folks).