An application for Nevada's future open position of Defensive Coordinator

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So I tweeted this out to a select few earlier tonight. In all seriousness though, as fun as the New Mexico Bowl was to watch...holy smokes Nevada, your defense is atrocious, and that was the best adjective to use. So, assuming that after this season of watching really bad defenses causing the Wolfpack to fall apart (South Florida game anyone?) that the position would be open, I took it upon myself to create a resumé attractive enough so that Nevada Athletics would notice. My focus would be actually teaching the players how to play their positions because they obviously don't know how to do it. Also, team chemistry and group learning would always be a team exercise, so nobody is caught out of position relative to their surroundings. I take pride in understanding the Mountain West teams/mentalities and I only cost 200 thousand per year (this can be negotiated down to 100 thousand with some good benefits)! My base defense is a 4-2-1-4 where that lone player is a nickel/safety position: essentially a glorified deep spy.

I would also leave my hatred of Nevada behind, because they are semi-hatred rivals (and not fully-hatred rivals like Idaho).

What do y'all think?