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BREAKING NEWS: Emergency Meeting Transcript Leaked

What follows is a partial transcript of a meeting held late last night at Bellmont Hall. This document was provided to Barking Carnival by closely guarded inside sources, none of which are a naked bongo-drumming Matthew McConaughey. We promise. MACK BROWN: Well DeLoss, my goodness. (sigh) It's...

BREAKING NEWS: Kirk Ferentz Tries "Tebowing", Fails Miserably

Breaking news this morning from Iowa City: According to sources close to the Iowa football program, head coach Kirk Ferentz spent most of the first three quarters of Friday's game against Nebraska "Tebowing". Those same sources have confirmed he was ultimately unsuccessful. "Tebowing" is the...

BREAKING NEWS: Andrew Brommer Is Really Hung Over

In a postgame press conference following their embarrassing loss to Creighton, Iowa players provided a plethora of reasons for their lackluster performance. Sophomore power forward Melsahn Basabe blamed the loss on foul trouble. Senior guard Matt Gatens said the team had trouble guarding...

Breaking News: Source Says NCAA Has Suspended A.J. Green for Four Games

Earlier this afternoon, I received a contact from a source who reported to me that the University of Georgia has received word from the NCAA that A.J. Green will be suspended for four games. Last Saturday's season opener against Louisiana-Lafayette reportedly will count as the first game of the...

NHL News: An Agreement Reached on Kovalchuk

Darren Dreger of TSN is reporting via twitter that the National Hockey League and the Player's Association have come to an agreement that will hopefully put an end to the Ilya Kovalchuk saga once and for all. Dreger referred to it as a "Global Settlement" that includes the approval of the Kovalchuk...

The Jo(h)n Spencer Blues Explosion Has Played Its Last Note in Houston

It's been a wild night in Houston. Around 7:00pm central time, the team made a three-part announcement as the team added a player, released a player and lost an assistant coach...and since my witty headline (which wouldn't exist without inspiration from @commie) references the lost coach, we shall...

Kentucky Basketball: TMZ Blog Reports NCAA Investigation

The TMZ Blog is reporting that the NCAA is taking an "aggressive look" at four UK players, two current players and two recent NBA draftees. The reported investigation allegedly centers around the possibility that these four kids had relationships with professional agents before they came to...

BREAKING NEWS: Golden State Warriors trade Stephen Jackson + Acie Law to Charlotte Bobcats for Raja Bell + Vladimir Radmanovic

UPDATE 2 (1:26pm): My esteemed collegue JAE gets down and dirty with the NBA's CBA in Jax to Charlotte: Warriors financial implications ============= UPDATE (8:47am): Track this story up to the minute in this SB Nation.com sports stream: Stephen Jackson Finally Gets His Wish: Traded to the...

Breaking News: BYU Wide Receiver Austin Collie Declares for NFL Draft

ESPN.com's Joe Schaad is reporting that BYU wide receiver Austin Collie is forgoing his senior to jump to the NFL. There is no link now, but the message came via ESPN's mobile alert to my cell phone. I will post more info as it becomes available, such as a link to the story. Collie is a stud...


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